Google Friend Connect is dead. Long live Google Plus. As someone who has cultivated his GFC following
into the double digits (ie, 10 including myself and my dog), (UPDATE: In the 20 minutes since I posted this, 20% of my Google Friend Connect Followers unfollowed me. Thanks for ruining a perfectly good sentence guys.) I’m as gutted as the next mega-blogger that GFC is rumoured to be slated for the chopping block and I’m now going to have to start from scratch again with Google Plus circles (see top right or visit our new page at gplus.to/htwc). To get you in the mood to switch early and start reaping the rewards of being on a social network that nobody uses, here is the howtowearclothes.com TOP 5 reasons why Google Plus is like the perfect woman (pictured above). I should warn you that, at the time of writing this introduction, I have no idea what any of those reasons are. Hopefully I will have thought of something by the time you click the MORE link below…
1. Google Plus does not give you spam
There is no bigger turn-off than someone giving you tinned mystery meat every day, especially when they put it in your mailbox, but the perfect woman doesn’t have an endless supply of people you don’t know giving you spam and asking you to buy them a goat on Farmville. Instead of a spam bucket, the perfect woman accessorises with the green waste bin, a sure sign she is eco-friendly and not afraid to get her hands dirty.
2. Google Plus allows animations
There’s nothing worse than meeting someone who you think is the perfect woman and finding out later that they’re actually an inanimate object. For one thing, it means you’re always designated driver. The perfect woman is always on the move, or at least moving. Fortunately, Google Plus also allows you to post your gifs in all their jerky animated glory.
3. Google Plus has badges that allow you to publicly declare your love for it
Once you’ve made your Google Plus page , you can head over to this ridiculously obscure site and create a handy badge: https://developers.google.com/+/plugins/badge/config. The badge is completely uncustomisable and comes in two sizes that won’t fit anywhere you want them to. Similarly, the perfect woman will have merchandise that you can acquire in bulk so you can display your affection on your <head> and <body>.
4. Google Plus doesn’t mind if you have nothing interesting to say
You know that awkward moment when you’ve sent someone a friend request on some other social networking site and they don’t respond? The best part about Google Plus is that it’s set up for stalkers and lurkers so you can add people to your circles (like you’re about to add this page to all of your circles) but they don’t have to add you back. If they really don’t want to have anything to do with you, they can even just +1 you. As you may know, by some inhuman feat, the perfect woman is able to post at least 3 blog posts every week, which I of course follow as though my marriage depended on it. But she doesn’t mind that I can contribute next to nothing to conversations about clothing, the bodily excretions of her latest patients or other usual girly topics.
5. Google Plus needs to use the computer now
Actually it doesn’t, but my perfect woman does.